Hope and Happiness

Diwali...The festival I relate to 'hope' and 'happiness',my two best friends once upon a time... the friends who were always a part of me and whom I always used to carry...'hope' in my eyes and 'happiness' in my smile....this festival was always rejuvenating for them, so I used to enjoy it with a great fervour.I always loved it, when I could celebrate it with my parents and at home..Am here today, and this diwali is supposed to bring more happiness as there is an important function too at home..But, somewhere something is lacking. I feel so empty inside..Coz, my best friends are not with me today. I remember how happy I was, as a kid, to light up diyas, to decorate the house, to get new clothes, to spend time with the family...Among all those it was their company that made me live those moments.. They are not with me today..Angry with me that I have entrusted them to someone else not to their liking..They couldn't adjust to that new atmosphere and got sick..So sick that they are in their death bed..And they are not allowing me to pay a visit even..Sometimes I get to see them from a distance and pray that, they get well soon ,accept me as before and come back to me..But deep down, I know that I have broken their trust, broken the promise I have made to them, that I will have them with me forever...

Insecurity and grief , my new tenants ,are their enemies and since then they turned sick. They couldn't share space with them, nor could I free myself from these, who engulphed my whole and are refusing to leave..These venomous tenants, have poisoned my friends and they have left me for good...In getting rid of these and restoring the health of my old friends , lies my hope of today and happiness of tomorrow...

जिंदगी ने हमें ये कहा लाकर खड़ा कर दिया।
न सूरज न सवेरा, ना ही कोई जलता दिया ,
इस अंधेरे के छाव में ओ भी भुज गया।
चाहकर भी अपनाना सके कोई, कैसी मोड है ये
न कोई मंजिल, न कोई रास्ता।

The Riddle

I didn't know
How and when to say a 'no'
And everytime I said 'yes'
Life became nothing less than a mess..

seasons came and seasons went..
But nothing could lend me a vent.

compromises and sorrows ,
inexplicable woes..
these became my friends
in my journey through life's tangled bends.

I am stuck in the middle,
unable to solve this abstruse riddle..

YOU

A blessing in disguise,
You came as a surprise.
Something striked a chord
and lead to a bond that can't be ward.
We knew we would be together,
either be it now or later.
I wait for you everyday,
to hear what you say..
Agree or disagree ,both are fun.
With every meet , a lot ,I learn.
Sometimes I am a dumbo,
sometimes a fool.
But with you, everything seems so cool..
I thank you for being there
and listening to everything that I share.
You take my side in whatever I say
such little things you do make my day. :)

I was reading in my room, when I heard a sound. It was as if something fell in the water. First I brushed it off as my imagination. I was listening to some music, so thought it might be coz of that..After sometime I heard another flapping sort of sound. I rushed to my bathroom only to find a poor creature drowning in the tub.The tub was deep and narrow, so it was not able to come up. My room is in the first floor and I have opened my windows to let some breeze in. This might have come through that and somehow managed to go near the tub and must have fallen into it accidentally..I couldn't make out what it exactly was. It might be a rat, a squirrel or some reptile.. Poor thing it was so wet , it almost became a lump. I tried to move it,but it seemed very weak .
And it was drowning..
I need to rush, I thought..
I couldn't see it dying in front of my eyes. But I didn't know what to do. I tried a stick. Thought, it might come up with its support, but it was so weak to even move ,let alone climb. And I have this fear of reptiles. ..So couldn't even go near it.
But then , its a 'life'.
If I don't act then ,I will be responsible for its death. So I took a mug and tried to make it enter that so that I can leave it outside. I had all goose pimples and my adrenaline was pumping.It almost came into that mug, and suddenly I had a doubt that it may be a reptile. I trembled a little and this poor thing jumped ..scaring me off...and again fell into the tub..By this time I knew that I won't be able to make it. So I rushed downstairs, called my father and my sis for help. My father came and helped it come into a mug and safely left it outside my room. It didn't move for a while ,then stood up and rushed its way into the bushes...only then we realised that it was a squirrel..
I stayed back in the room, feeling happy for the squirrel, but disappointed with myself.
So, the moral of the story is .....
It is not enough if we just have a desire to help. We should also have enough courage to execute it, or it may be too late. Not always can you find your father downstairs..

My Header

Mm..changed the header..Tired of being gloomy..I know it feels very out of place, considering my previous posts. But this is how I always wished myself to be..Independent, alone,carefree, happy and adventurous..Liked the picture in the first look. There is some peace in it, which I could relate to..

Moreover am a happy girl these days. More happier than I had been in all the previous years. I have got this little "freedom" for two months. The value of freedom can be best experienced when we don't have it.I had my days when I longed for it . So when I have it ,am enjoying it to the hilt. I know that this is only temporary , but that is not stopping me from savoring it.

Being alone is a gift many a times. It helps us to have an insight into ourselves , helps to know ourselves better .I got to know about me in this one month more than I had known myself ever..
Am even surprising myself in the way am taking some things. And am very glad for the change..So,am posting my happiness here.. :). this is me beaming.. I know how am going to rememember this phase of my life..

"This part,this little part of my life is called happyness". .:)

I wish the world much more happiness than am experiencing now.Hope this happiness spreads... :)